I’m a kissing fool. Love to kiss. Everyone says they are a good kisser because they haven’t received any complaints. But let me tell you, there is a lot of bad kissers out there. I understand, to each their own, but there are some universal no-nos in the art of kissing.
How to be a masterful kisser:
Step One: clean mouth and breath. This does not mean you should bring your toothbrush on a date but if your date isn’t munching on garlic or onions….you shouldn’t either.
Step two: nobody wants to feel your tongue down their esophagus. My tonsils were removed as a young child, but that doesn’t mean I want you to examine my mouth like a dentist. Use of a light tongue is far more desirable.
Step three: don’t make baby noises. This is such a turn-off. I dated a guy who would sound like an animated baby suckling on a pacifier while kissing. Gross! Light moaning….okay.
Step four: don’t lick the face. I’ve lightly touched my tongue to my mates lips, but I’ve never just tongued the whole face. That is not sexy.
Step five: nibbling is always a great thing. Chewing and biting hurts and breaks down tissue.
Step six: saliva shouldn’t be dripping down your face or your mates. Please try to control your drool.
Step seven: don’t be afraid to use your hands to cradle your mates face or hold them close. If you are rigid, how can you melt into each other?
On a side note, I understand when you are in the heat of the moment and your kissing turns into a full on makeout sesh. Please do not stick your tongue down your mates ears and bathe their eardrums. Those in water sports try to avoid swimmers ear, I prefer to not receive it either by making out. It’s gross and feels like a wet Willy. Just please stop.