Jazz Voyeur

Typically I like to meet a man in public. Occassionally, I will meet in a more private setting if I feel entirely comfortable. It takes a lot of wooing to get me to that level of comfort. This man did just that. I met him at his house for hummus and wine. Great combo.

This attorney had by far the most beautiful home I’ve ever seen. Not so much as the grand scale but the design and decorative touches. It was like he went into Z Gallerie and said “I’ll take one of each”. Impeccable style. Far better than my own. I was straight up impressed.

He opened a bottle of wine and brought out a plate of crackers and Sabra hummus. Not the garlic kind, mind you.

We take the food and wine outside to the backyard. The fire pit is on and there is smooth jazz playing on the outdoor speakers. We chat for a little bit. I notice his neighbors behind him have bedroom windows that stare right down into his backyard.

And he starts kissing me and his hands instantly gravitate to my breasts. He has large hands, ones that could cup a basketball, so he can easily handle my boobs.

Then his cock comes out of his shorts. Don’t know when that happened but all of a sudden it’s just there staring at me.

him: “Blow me baby.”

And the light comes on in the neighbors bedroom…

Rogue Rose

Liquid Courage

There is rarely an occasion when I turn down sushi. Those beautiful colorful rolls of yumminess are always a delight. Plus there is a great upscale sushi restaurant in Orange County called Riptide. This is not a hole in the wall diamond in the rough. This is fusion sushi at its best.

So my date tells me to meet him there in front of the fish tank. That is something I never understood. A fish tank in a seafood restaurant. Do you put a ranch in the middle of steak house? Or a farm in a burger joint?

Regardless, I show up all pretty. We get seated in a half moon booth. I order a key lime martini and he gets a gin and tonic. We also order the Philadelphia roll (my fave) and a ceviche inspired roll, plus something else to share. It was a lot of sushi.

When the food arrives, I can tell my date is feeling a little loose. He starts to hand feed me a sushi roll. Honestly, I was a little surprised but I go with it. Maybe he was trying to be romantic or maybe he was trying to get me to shut up and eat. Either way, it was kinda odd. I am capable of using chopsticks myself, while not masterfully….it is still effective. I won’t starve.

So my date is now on his second gin and tonic…or maybe 3rd or 4th. I really don’t know how many he had before I arrived. He is feeling pretty good.

And then it happens. He grabs a boob.

him: “they are so big and fluffy like pillows”

I just sit there looking around to make sure nobody just saw that. Usually in dating, you stop to savor each base or at least go through them quickly. He stole a few bases.

He certainly had liquid courage.

Rogue Rose

Moroccan You Not

So I have a favorite restaurant in Orange County called Marrakesh. It’s this sexy morrocan restaurant where you sit in velvet tents and where dining is a delectable experience of a tantalizing dance of spices and flavors. Well except for the bread made of anise. Not a fan of that.

So my date takes me to my favorite restaurant and while it’s not going to be a cheap date for him, I chose to wear a dusty blue dress that basically puts my DDs on display. I’m covered, but there is ample cleavage that could make the bellydancer jealous.

Let’s just say I was grateful. Gratitude is a good thing.

So we are sitting on a little couch under the tent with various other couples.

A man sitting across at another table is GLUED to my chest. I noticed but disregarded. I’m focused on my date. My date is focused on him and he isn’t thrilled.

Now, this isn’t a one course kinda restaurant. It’s various salads, lentil soup, the most delicious cinnamon and powered sugar chicken pastry, the main course and then baklava with honey sweetened mint tea.

So two hours of my date being upset is not an understatement.

Dinner was yummy though…

Rogue Rose

Lackluster Love

Being a single mom today is not easy especially dating. Let me tell you, I am an attractive broad with a body somewhere between Kim Kardashian and Mama June before she dropped 34 dress sizes. A natural redhead and a classic Dita Von Teese look, I’m quite the catch.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not the typical South Orange County twit that graces your televisions on some bogus housewife show. I’m a real, homegrown, barely educated, blow-job giving woman with tits for days. Natural tits.

And I’ve dated everyone. Well, maybe not your husband, but certainly your brother and possibly your father. And maybe your sister too.

You see, this isn’t exactly how I envisioned my life at forever 39. I was married with three kids. Good kids. Beautiful kids. Lousy husband. So-called lousy husband decided he wanted an online social life and joined twitter. He fell in love in 140 characters or less. To her, whom shall forever be nameless, but lovingly referred to as Mrs Fugly. Yes, I used the title Mrs. She was married too, with children no less. They now live a miserable life together and he complains about her children. Ha! Good riddance.

So here I am dating again and what a trip it is. From an award-winning director to a twenty-one year old who still has spots on his face. I’ve been there and done that. Well, maybe not “done” that. I’m not easy….okay, maybe a little bit. I like sex. There I said it. Sex. Its fun, especially when I’m on top. On top of the situation and on top of the man.

So to kick-start this blog, I’ll tell you one of my dating adventures. Stop me if you have heard this one: a woman walks into a restaurant, meets a handsome man with a good reputable standing career (which I will not state because I’m not one to air dirty laundry), who use to play college ball. Tall, broad shoulders, pouty lips to boot. Small talk is going well, flirty hair tousle and he is staring at my breasts because they are practically grazing the table and it begins.

him: “I have a certain lifestyle.”

me: “Oh…”

him: “Yes, so from now on you are going to call me Master and I’m going to call you Slave. Got that?”

me: “Yea, that’s cute. You serious?”

him: “Slave, I’m thirsty. Hand me my glass of water.”

me: “Your water is right in front of you.”

him: “You didn’t call me Master. You will be punished next time.”

me: “Okay, Master, your glass of water is in front of you. Since you invited me to dinner, you are paying for dinner. Waiter, check please. I’m out.”

 

Rogue Rose