A few months go by and this elderly man keeps messaging me about coming out to West Hollywood. He is good-looking and seems like a complete gentleman. He is almost twice my age, but that doesn’t phase me. So I finally agree to meet.
He makes reservations at the most romantic restaurant in town called The Little Door. He is even better looking in person. Completely gracious and almost regal. We drive up in his brand new beautiful Jaguar and do valet. This restaurant is so pretty. You are under a tent of green trees, red tulle, fairy lights.
Dinner was amazing. The food was delectable. And the wine was the best I’ve ever consumed. Incredible.
During dinner, he tells me his life story and it’s worthy of a movie itself, plus a sequel. You see, this man is an award winning director. And then he starts to pitch me to go into show business. I decline graciously. I prefer to watch, rather than be watched. He offers to invite me out to the set of his new movie and I joke that I’ll bring cupcakes.
After dinner, we go to the valet station to retrieve the car and they pull up with the same color Honda Accord. He goes to get in the car when I inform him it’s the wrong one. I guess valet got confused.
We almost took off with someone else’s car.
There is rarely an occasion when I turn down sushi. Those beautiful colorful rolls of yumminess are always a delight. Plus there is a great upscale sushi restaurant in Orange County called Riptide. This is not a hole in the wall diamond in the rough. This is fusion sushi at its best.
So my date tells me to meet him there in front of the fish tank. That is something I never understood. A fish tank in a seafood restaurant. Do you put a ranch in the middle of steak house? Or a farm in a burger joint?
Regardless, I show up all pretty. We get seated in a half moon booth. I order a key lime martini and he gets a gin and tonic. We also order the Philadelphia roll (my fave) and a ceviche inspired roll, plus something else to share. It was a lot of sushi.
When the food arrives, I can tell my date is feeling a little loose. He starts to hand feed me a sushi roll. Honestly, I was a little surprised but I go with it. Maybe he was trying to be romantic or maybe he was trying to get me to shut up and eat. Either way, it was kinda odd. I am capable of using chopsticks myself, while not masterfully….it is still effective. I won’t starve.
So my date is now on his second gin and tonic…or maybe 3rd or 4th. I really don’t know how many he had before I arrived. He is feeling pretty good.
And then it happens. He grabs a boob.
him: “they are so big and fluffy like pillows”
I just sit there looking around to make sure nobody just saw that. Usually in dating, you stop to savor each base or at least go through them quickly. He stole a few bases.
He certainly had liquid courage.
It was 5pm somewhere and I was meeting a dashingly handsome man for a smoothie. We were both getting over the common cold, so a heavy meal didn’t sound right.
We were at Tustin Marketplace and of course he shows up before me. It’s not that I’m always late, I just don’t like to stand around and wait. Double standard I know.
So I order a Seabreeze Squeeze and he ordered whatever fruity concoction it was. I wasn’t paying attention. He was good looking. Tall. Dark. Handsome. Built. Middle Eastern with one of those I’m so naughty smiles that you are in trouble.
We sit and chat for 30 minutes. We talk UFC and work and random crap. We both were super busy that this little date was thrown in last minute.
When it was time to leave, he walked me to my car like a gentleman. He held my face in his hands and gave me a delectably delicious kiss. I think my knees went weak.
I gained my composure and got in my car and watched him walk away. Turned on the car and looked in the rear view mirror to back up and saw my reflection. WTH was on my face? It was like black jelly. Oily jelly. I grab a tissue from my purse and wipe it off.
He had a goatee…..but was he wearing beard gel? And why was it black? So confused.
He texted me later and said he really enjoyed the kiss. And all I could say was “Do you wear beard oil?”