New Year’s Snooze

It was New Year’s Eve and I had a date with a handsome retired multi-millionaire. He had made his millions young and had sold his healthcare company by the time he was around 40.

We start the evening at a local brewery restaurant for prime rib and a baked potato. Very delicious but way too much food. The restaurant was packed but they knew him well so they had saved him a really good table.

After dinner, we were going to the movies to see the latest Star Wars. I was excited because I’m a bit of a nerd. Luckily, the movie theater was right next door. How convenient.

So we walk over to the theaters and it was lightly misting out with a little chill in the air.

We find our seats in the theater and the previews start. I’m curled up next to him, trying to get warm. He has his arms wrapped around me and rubbing my shoulders. Very sweet.

The movie begins and it starts out strong.

And that is all I remember. I fell asleep and I’m pretty sure I was snoring.

Rogue Rose

Tickle Me No

Was meeting an elderly gentleman over coffee at my local Starbucks. When I mean elderly, I’m referring to 20+ years older than me. He seemed nice via text, so why not see if there is any chemistry.

So we instantly recognize each other, and I order my regular iced vanilla chai latte that basically tastes like Christmas in a cup. We find an open table and start the courtship. Haha!

him: Are you ticklish?

me: Yes.

him: Where?

me: Why?

He proceeds to open up his phone to YouTube to show me tickle porn. He informs me he just got into this and it’s a huge turn-on for him. He then tells me the tickler tickles the ticklee until she soaks her panties in urine.

So you can imagine the look on my face at this point. I didn’t know this was a thing, nor was I expecting this over a cup of tea. Not that I am one to judge. It is just not for me.

At this point in the conversation, he can see the expression plastered on my face and tries Plan B. Yoda impersonations. Yes…the beloved green character from Star Wars. I’m as nerdy as the next person, maybe even a little more….but this isn’t going to get my panties wet.

So I used my mind tricks and Jedi’d outta there.

Rogue Rose